Missing someone who was never yours.

I must admit that whenever people used to talk about ‘missing someone who was never yours’, I thought they were asinine for not realizing what they had until it was gone. Yet, now I fit into this category. I always used to be that girl that he would go to for advice and really confide in. I thought absolutely nothing of it at the time, though now, all of those conversations are the ones I reminisce the most. I have become my own definition of asinine. And, all I can ask myself is ‘how?’. He gave me the best advice that anyone has ever given me in my life: there is no such thing as a mistake, you make a decision and sometimes, you have to overcome huge barriers because of that one decision, but at least at the end, you will be a better person. That one piece of advice has gotten me through the toughest times, when nobody else could. Why did I ignore him when I still had the chance to tell him how I felt? That is a question that only death really evokes. The worst part was that he had a girlfriend who he never loved, that is what he needed advice on most of all. In all honesty, I actually liked her, although I don’t think that the feeling was mutual. She is the one who is getting all of the attention and help surrounding the death, and I’m going to sound bitter here, but to me, she doesn’t even seem to miss him, not going by the fact that she didn’t even cry at his funeral, you’d of thought she would, right?. I get the impression that she values the attention of the death more than any decent person would, and I can’t stand it. I’ve had no help or anyone to console me, but I’m still finding a way to breathe. I wish that I had just given him the advice he needed: do what makes you happy. As cliche as it sounds, at least he would have died happy. If I had one bit of advice to give, it would be to understand exactly what everyone in your life means to you. If you don’t, you can never be certain that you won’t regret it. I may sound like a depressed idiot, maybe I am, but if this helps just one person, then I can safely say that it was worth it.


2 thoughts on “Missing someone who was never yours.

  1. drewma007

    Relationships were never meant to be easy.
    As for me, I always said that I was going to leave this one girl,
    and it did not happen until another 1.5years was gone.
    What is more torturing and tiring than to keep doubting everyday,
    feeling extremely insecure and feeling suffocated in one relationship?

    I am sorry for what has happened to you and to him.
    Maybe he was only looking for someone to talk to when he talked to you?
    Only you two knew the best.

    The hardest part was never falling in love,
    but to withdraw from it.
    Many people, and I was one of them,
    knew that the relationship was no longer healthy,
    but still chose to stick with it,
    only because they were scared of changing and living without love.

    I wish you all the best
    I really like his advice by the way.
    “There is no such thing as a mistake, you make a decision and sometimes, you have to overcome huge barriers because of that one decision, but at least at the end, you will be a better person.”

  2. elenapearson62 Post author

    Thank you for your comment. I agree that it was such a good piece of advice from him. Also, at least you got out of the relationship, and are living a better life now. I think the problem that so many people have is how we don’t like change, and so we stick with situations that make us unhappy, just to avoid taking any kind of risk.


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